


Patience is Key

by euphoriastouch



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, First of many, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, SHINee - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:34:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24531625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphoriastouch/pseuds/euphoriastouch
Summary: Taemin would bend over backwards for Kibum, but wouldn't dare tell him that. It turns out, he wouldn't have to tell him when his old iPod could do it for him.
Relationships: Kim Kibum | Key/Lee Taemin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Patience is Key

Taemin would never admit it outloud, but he would do anything for Kibum. He was so embarrassingly in love with the older man that even a stranger across the room could tell that Taemin would drain every river in the world if Kibum said he was thirsty. 

It didn’t help that Kibum was Taemin’s first love. Since the young age of seventeen Taemin wanted to be like Kibum, wanted to explore the world with Kibum, wanted to hear every story Kibum had to tell. And he did get to do that, but only as Kibum’s “younger brother”. He was always telling Taemin how he was the younger brother he always wanted. Every time he heard those words leave Kibum’s lips it broke him a little more inside, but it was still better than losing the man completely. 

Kibum saw him through all of his most embarrassing phases, even the one where he insisted on having studs and checkered print everything on anything he wore. But that was the great thing about Kibum, he never judged Taemin, never treated him lesser, and was never shy in his affections with the younger. Kibum would take the clothes off his own back at the sight of Taemin shivering in cold weather, would always run a soothing hand up and down the younger’s back when upset, would always engulf him in hugs when he unintentionally did something cute. While it was easy for Kibum to hand out his affection it was harder for Taemin to tell himself “Don’t get ahead of yourself, you’re his younger brother.”

Nothing was harder than Kibum bringing back his first boyfriend to the dorms, practically rubbing it in Taemin’s face that he’ll never have him. He was only eighteen at the time, still so young, still so naive at thinking he had a chance with the older. That was the year that Taemin decided that sleeping over his brother’s house was better than hearing Kibum’s laughter at whatever joke his boyfriend made, and was much better than hearing his first love’s loud moans as he tried to sleep. The other boys weren’t dumb and eventually realized that when his boyfriend came over it meant that Taemin was sleeping at his brother’s house. “Why don’t you sleep at home tonight, Taem? We always do takeout and movie nights on Saturdays…” Jonghyun said sadly, getting his hair done next to the younger as they waited to go on stage to perform. 

Taemin felt the back of his neck start to get hot, not expecting to get caught. “Taesun has been having trouble lately with his studies… His roommate isn’t much of a help when it comes to studying so I like to help him.” He paused and awkwardly laughed, “You guys know how my mom is… She’ll kill him if he starts to do bad at school.”

The other boys didn’t look like they believed him but Kibum sent him a bright smile, “Don’t worry about that! If his roommate bothers him he can always come study at the dorm! It’s only fair since I have Minjun over a lot.” 

Taemin wanted to scream and say  _ YOU IDIOT, THAT’S WHY I'M SLEEPING AT HIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.  _ But, h e could never raise his voice at Kibum so he blushed and nodded his head quickly, “I-I’ll make sure to tell him the text time I sleep over.” The other boys knew Taesun wouldn’t be sleeping over anytime soon, in fact the sleepovers stopped when Kibum came home with fresh tears in his eyes two months after that. 

Taemin was in the dining room having a late night snack like he always does when he heard the door open, already knowing it was Kibum. The only difference this time was that he came in alone and he looked like he had aged years in the hours since he last saw him. “Kibum hyung? What happened?” 

Kibum didn’t even flinch, already expecting the younger to be at the table. “Oh hey Taem, where are the other members?” It was clear he was trying to stay nonchalant, keeping his voice calm and taking off his jacket and shoes without any hint of anger or sadness. 

“It’s almost two in the morning… They’re all asleep.”

“Mmm.” Was all the older replied. By now Kibum and Minjun would have been in his room kicking off their clothes. “Taemin?”

“Yes, hyung?”

“Never fall in love, okay?”

“Why…?”

Kibum met his eyes, “Just promise me.”

Taemin didn’t avert his gaze, looking intently into his eyes. After a few beats he whispered, “I can’t promise that.”

Kibum pretended he didn’t hear that, continuing the conversation, “He cheated on me… Well actually he was cheating on his boyfriend… I was the other man.”

Taemin didn’t know what to say so he shifted his chair closer to Kibum, resting his head on the older’s shoulder. Kibum wrapped his arm around his waist and held him close. Taemin was getting worried that the entire dorm would be able to hear how loud his heart was pounding. After sitting in silence for a few moments Taemin shifted his gaze upwards, “He didn’t deserve you anyway… You’re too good for someone like him.” 

Kibum laughed lightly, grazing his hand up and down Taemin’s slender waist. “Thank you, Taem. Now, you should be getting some sleep, we have to get you up early for school tomorrow.”

Taemin did nothing but nod, getting up to put his bowl in the sink. Before he retreated to his room he turned to the older boy still sitting at the table, “Hyung… I love you.”

Kibum didn’t pick up on the intent and smiled softly, “I love you too, Taemin. Now get rest before Jinki kills you for being awake so late.”

-

Here they are almost ten years later, Taemin still madly in love with the older man. As time went on Taemin tried everything he could to distance himself from Kibum but in the end he failed every time. He would rather stay miserable and in love than lose the one person who knew him better than anyone else. 

One thing that never changed in the last decade was their Saturday night movie nights, the only difference is they exchanged the liters of soda for bottles of wine and soju. Kibum woke up in Taemin’s apartment, still not sure as to how he managed to sit up on his own, head still pounding from the liquor he consumed the night before. “Taemin?” He called out, looking around. 

At that moment Taemin came out of the bathroom freshly showered and dressed, “God, there’s no need to yell I’m right here.”

“How much did we drink last night…? And where did the boys go?”

Taemin looked around, “Well according to the bottles all over the floor we cleared three bottles of wine and four bottles of soju.”

Kibum sat up, “Between five people?!?”

Taemin laughed, “Well you and Jonghyun wanted to ‘battle it out’ to see who could drink more and hold it down better.”

The older looked horrified, shaking his head, “Oh God, and to think I’m almost thirty.”

Taemin laughed again, “I don’t mean to cut this party short but you need to go home and shower… I can practically see the soju coming out of your pores. Plus, your bratty dogs would be mad their feeding schedule has been messed up because of their father’s actions.”

Kibum scoffed and got himself up, “Haha, so funny.” He looked around the room before opening his mouth again, “Fuck, I think Minho left with my jacket, can I borrow something of yours?”

Taemin was making him a cup of coffee to go, “Yeah, just go in my closet. Take whatever you want.”

Kibum made his way towards the younger room and opened up his closet, he searched for something that would suit him until his eyes landed on a denim jacket that looked like it had seen better days. Kibum stared at it in awe, “I haven’t seen this thing since like 2012… I can’t believe he still has it.” He said to himself. It was once a dark blue denim jacket he bought for Taemin’s birthday after hearing how bad he wanted it. It was now as thin as a piece of cheese and it faded into a light blue. Without a second thought he shrugged it on and it fit him just right. He smiled and headed into the living room. There was a cup of coffee on this kitchen counter with a note under it, “Didn’t know how long you’d take but Eve had to pee so I took her on a walk, missed you, glad we met last night.” Kibum smiled to himself and put the note in the front pocket of the jacket. 

Kibum’s drive home was peaceful and once he was in his own home he kicked off his shoes and headed right for the shower. He shrugged the jacket off and when he went to lay it down on his dresser he heard a dull thud. “What the…” Picking the jacket back up he noticed the light weight difference in one of the pockets. He dug inside the pocket and pulled out a small iPod from years ago, not believing his eyes. “Yah, when was the last time the kid wore this jacket?” He got curious and walked over to one of his junk drawers, pulling out a similar iPod that he kept and took the charger out that it came with. He plugged it in and waited until he saw the charging symbol to come up before he jumped in the shower. 

While it charged he took a shower, got in fresh clothes, fed and walked the dogs, and straightened up his apartment. After a few hours he was sure it was charged and went back into his bedroom. He unplugged it and brought it out to the living room. “Let’s see what music the little brat listened to back in the day.” It took forever to load but once it did he immediately went to his playlists. There were easily over a dozen playlists with all different titles “practice”, “movie night”, “happy”, “eh”, he kept scrolling until one playlist caught his eye. In bold letters all the way at the bottom there was a playlist named “KIBUM”. “I bet it’s all songs about how he wants me to leave him alone.” He made himself laugh but stopped shortly after seeing the songs in the playlist. His heart felt heavy at the playlist that easily had over a hundred songs. Each song was an angsty sad song about how they will never have the love they want. He recognized most of them, but some he couldn’t figure out what they are and resorted to looking up the lyrics. One song caught his eye in particular, it was named  _ Skinny Love. _ The lyrics made his heart sink and he felt the weight of a decade of guilt hit him all at once.

_ Come on skinny love what happened here _

_ Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere _

_ My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my _

_ Sullen load is full; so slow on the split _

_ I told you to be patient _

_ I told you to be fine _

_ I told you to be balanced _

_ I told you to be kind _

_ Now all your love is wasted? _

_ Then who the hell was I? _

_ Now I'm breaking at the britches _

_ And at the end of all your lines _

_ Who will love you? _

_ Who will fight? _

_ Who will fall far behind? _

He felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes. Without thinking he went back to his room and threw the jacket on, throwing shoes on his feet and grabbed his keys. the drive to Taemin’s house was the longest car ride of his life despite it only being ten minutes away. He didn’t even know what he would say when he got upstairs. He wasn’t even aware of what he was feeling. He felt guilt, sadness, but overall a sense of protection.  _ How long was he feeling this way? Clearly more than just a few years… He was hurting for so long and no one noticed!? Because of me? _

He put the car in park outside of his building and practically ran inside the man’s building. Kibum was aware he looked crazed and pitiful. He hasn’t stopped to wipe the tears that were streaming down his face freely. Without even having to think he got off the elevator and raced to Taemin’s door, putting in the lock pad information like it was second nature. The door swung open and he was met with a bewildered Taemin sitting on his couch watching television.

“Hyung? What happened?! Are you okay?”

“How long have you felt like this?” He asked, voice surprisingly low and calm. 

Taemin stood up, a look of confusion on his face, “Felt like what?” 

Kibum reached into the pocket of the jacket and pulled out the purple iPod, he tossed it at Taemin, the younger barely catching it. “What’s this?”

“Your iPod. I found it in this jacket. I didn’t mean to find it. I plugged it in to see what music you listened to back then… I found your playlist…”

Taemin looked truly confused, not knowing what playlist he was talking about. It took him another moment before his eyes went wide and he could feel the panic spread throughout his entire body. “Oh… That playlist.” He didn't even know what to say, it was pointless to try and deny it, the playlist spoke for itself.

“How long, Taemin?” Kibum’s voice was stern, but Taemin still didn’t know what to say. The silence between them could be cut with a knife. After minutes of just staring each other down Taemin cleared his throat, “I was seventeen… That was when I knew I loved you.”

Kibum let the tears fall, “God… You were so young…”

Taemin figured he had nothing to hold back now, “You were my first love… Still are if we’re going to be honest here.”

“That promise you made me that night I came home… That’s why you said you couldn’t make that promise?”

Taemin blinked rapidly, “You still remember that?” 

Kibum scoffed, “Why wouldn’t I? I always wondered why you said that but I never put the pieces together… I should have though… It makes sense now.”

“What do you mean?”

Kibum breathed deeply, “Minho came up to me one night and said I should be more mindful of bringing my dates over to the dorm… No one mentioned that they had a problem with them coming over but I sensed that something was off when you stopped staying at the dorm. I really don’t know why I’m just piecing these together now.”

“Hyung… I am so sorry…”

Kibum scoffed again, finally coming closer to the younger, “Please don’t be sorry… You never should apologize for your feelings, Taem.”

Carefully, Kibum brought his hand up to cup Taemin’s soft cheek, “Why didn’t you come to me?”

Taemin leaned into the touch, always loving the way Kibum gave him affection and attention. “I didn’t know how to tell you… I was always just your ‘cute younger brother’ and thought it would be so weird if I told you how I felt. You don’t even like me back...”

The older brought his other hand to play with the hair on Taemin's neck, “We are the dumbest people on the planet…”

Taemin shifted his head in confusion, “What?”

“I haven’t loved you for as long as you loved me, but I have loved you for so long now.”

“D-Don’t say things you don’t mean, hyung. I can’t handle it.”

Kibum brought them impossibly closer, their noses only an inch apart, “I knew I loved you since the company dinner in 2015.”

“W-What? Nothing special even happened that night…”

“Yes. I was telling the story about how I wanted to fight Minho and no one was listening, but you… You, Taemin… You stared at me like I was about to say I found the cure for cancer. Since then I noticed that everything I say you’re always the one person listening… Since day one you make me feel like a better person. You make waking up worthwhile. Those moments of affection I get to steal in front of others are the moments that make me soar.”

They stared at each other again, this time Taemin was the one to break the silence, “Please kiss me, Kibum.”

Kibum didn’t need to be told twice, he cupped his cheeks and brought them even closer, their lips finally touching. It felt like fireworks, having years of pent up love finally be released. After minutes of desperate touches and kissing they pulled apart, Taemin smiling brightly, “Kiss me like that forever.”

Kibum smiled, bringing him in for the second time, smiling and grateful, knowing that this wouldn’t even be close to their last. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi im back!!!!! i hope you enjoy, please let me know how you like it :)


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